When you think of an author, what is the picture that comes
to mind? I’ve asked that of a few folks, and what I hear about is the hard
work—the slaving over a notebook, or typewriter, or a keyboard. So it gives us
a picture of a solitary individual, and as we all know, the more tortured they
are the better the writing is! (Sarcasm is hard to hear over the interweb). But
is that really true?
In writing the acknowledgements for my upcoming novel, the
first time I’ve ever had to do this particular writing exercise, I was struck
by just how many people have helped me along the way. I started my writing
career during the middle of a rocket attack while lying face down in a puddle
of muddy water inside a concrete bunker in Afghanistan. It wasn’t that I
started writing then, I had been writing for a long time, but at that
particular moment I decided I really WANTED to write. And for me that meant
dropping an application in the mail for a scholarship at the Antioch Writer’sWorkshop (AWW). At the time I couldn’t afford to go without a scholarship, or
more to the point, I couldn’t tell my wife that I was going to take precious
dollars from our account to pursue this pipe dream of writing. As luck would
have it, I won one of those scholarships and attended what would be a
transformative week of writing. And so my writing career truly began not as a solitary
act of sitting behind a keyboard, but rather at a workshop surrounded by many
people like me…people who loved to write but still had one nagging question:
were we actually writers?
That is a question that I long struggled with before my
novel sold. How do I explain to other people what I’m trying to do? How do I
describe myself to my parents, my siblings, my wife? I’m taking hours of my
life to sit alone and do the solitary act of writing, and then hours more in
meeting with other writers, trusted readers, and to make it to conferences. How
do I justify it, especially when I had no idea if this whole writing thing
would work out anyway? How do I tell when it’s pointless and time to pull the
plug, throw in the towel, (insert overly used cliché here)…
Well, it took several years to truly come face to face with
a good answer. This year at the Antioch Writer’s Workshop, we hosted AndreDubus III as our Keynote speaker and Master Class teacher. I had no idea what
to expect from Dubus (pronounced like “abuse” with a “D” in front). So I did a
little Google sleuthing, and I was amazed to find the perfect answer to that
old question: Am I really a writer?
The video link above is less than two-minutes long and well
worth the click. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this same
question. Even after selling my first novel I worry about it still. Will I pull
it together for a second novel? Can I call myself a writer with just one book
on the shelf? Well, if I listen to Andre, I was a writer long before I ever
acknowledged it. “If you can go a year without writing”, he says, “and feel
just fine. You’re not a writer. So what? It’s actually a good piece of news
because now you’re free to find out what the hell you’re supposed to do.” But if you can’t, if you need to get in front of the
keyboard and put the word onto paper, to dream a story and watch it take
shape—you’re a writer, with or without the publications.
Dubus went on in his master class to give a unique outlook
on writing (one I might try to capture in a future post), but he also revealed a
broader perspective. “We are on this planet to find out who we are and to be it—to
lead an authentic life.”
And so with a book deal in hand it
might be easier to explain to Nancy why I still haven’t come to bed, but it doesn’t
actually change anything. Even without any publications. I am a writer because I write, because I love to
write even though I don’t always like to. I am a writer because I need to write.
Tj Turner is a scientist, a federal agent, a military officer, and a writer. His first novel, Lincoln's Bodyguard, is due out from Oceanview Publishing in April 2015. He can be reached at tj@tjturnerauthor.com, or through his amazing Literary Agent, Elizabeth Kracht at liz@kimberleycameron.com. Learn more at www.tjturnerauthor.com
4 comments :
Good blog, TJ. I've always loved the idea that fiction lies to tell greater truths. And in that way, we are always discovering who we are through our words.
Dubus sounds like an incredible teacher. I'd love to catch a class with him at an upcoming conference. I'll have to keep watch for his name. I wrote a similar post in my blog recently. If you have time check it out.
Very nice!
TJ - Thanks for your thoughts and for sharing the Dubus video, too. Glad you followed that moment of clarity in the concrete bunker. I'm really looking forward to reading your new book.
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